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[08 Feb 2010|01:44pm] |
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If it weren't for Russia, we wouldn't have won WW II. And holy hell, Russians gave the Germans an unexpected shitstorm.
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| once upon a time... |
[04 Feb 2010|01:50pm] |
Life isn't the same. Things are so motivationally different now that I'm not even remotely close to who I was in my previous journal life. It doesn't help that I feel and see and want things that seem to contradict what everyone else wants in life. I feel removed, perhaps outcasted, because my life priorities don't appear to match with anyone's. I resent that, again, I'm in a relationship that prohibits me from furthering my education, my career.
I've seen relationships fall apart that I never imagined could have weakened. I've had friends get pregnant shortly after they vehemently denied wanting kids. I've seen a rise in the number of people who have simply given up by giving in.
It's not that I feel that I was meant for something great. It's just that I was meant for something better. And that's painful.
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| What to expect when you're expecting inner labia piercings. |
[27 Sep 2009|10:03pm] |
While body piercing may have become an increasingly common practice in the United States, I've found that the majority of information regarding aftercare during the healing process, through both Google and local shops, is both contradictory and confusing. You get every aftercare regime propounded from "Do nothing at all" to "Put organic honey on 5 times a day and chant under the full moon." At first I thought it was just the intimate nature of these piercings that made it difficult to ascertain the proper way to clean them along with what discomfort and pain was normal and if I should or should not be playing in volleyball tournaments. It's not like I could call my piercer every time I sat down to pee or had to walk more than 15 feet. Then I realized, there are thousands of pages all with conflicting information regarding the best way to clean your piercings and how many times per day to do so but practically nothing telling you that you really shouldn't rotate the jewelry and taking Ibuprofen will help with the swelling - especially if you're going to be playing volleyball from 2-12 hours at a time.
So, here I give to you my experience, and after weeks of research, things I know shouldn't freak you out when you go to pierce your vage.
First off, as far as piercings go, the pain involved in the actual piercing of the inner labia is very minimal. It lasted only seconds after the needle went through and even though I was having 6 done at once, I would have to say this (or these rather) was one of my easiest piercings. The healing time for the inner labia is 2-12 weeks, much shorter than the nipples which take no less than 6 months.
I had done quite a bit of research prior to these piercings and it was only a week after having my nipples pierced. Since they were healing nicely and my nose has been pierced for a while, I felt confident in providing competent aftercare. What worked for my nose wouldn't work for my nipples and what worked for my nipples was far from what I needed to do on my labia.
So, here's what you do and what to expect.
1. Skip the antibacterial soap. By using it, you kill off your natural vaginal bacteria and let the beastie yeasties run wild. Not to mention, this burns like hell when you try to use it on new piercings down there and most antibacterial soaps are too harsh for our delicate lady areas. If you do feel you need to use soap, work with a good, non-scented, non-perfumed, mild soap like Dove. Just remember to rinse really, really well. Water alone in the shower is best.
2. Don't rotate the jewelry. It's not necessary and can actually introduce bad bacteria into your piercing.
3. Sea salt soaks. Do it. Once a day. Boil water and add 1/8 teaspoon of sea salt. Not table salt. Not just lukewarm tap water. Get non-iodized sea salt and actually measure this out. Too much salt is detrimental and can actually dry the piercings out. Sea salt soaks are recommended for general soothing/increasing blood flow/removing lymph or if you're having problems with dried lymph "crusties." Let the water cool just enough to not burn you and work yourself into whatever position is necessary to keep your piercings submerged for 5-10 minutes. If you have the right shaped container, you can lay back and invert it. Otherwise, just sit on the edge of the couch.
4. It stings when you pee. At first. It sucks. It helps to have a glass/cup in the bathroom that you can fill with warm water and wash over your piercings after you pee. Use toilet paper or paper towels as often as you can. Never towels since they can harbor bacteria.
5. Some have said they found pajama pants to be most comfortable but I personally found sun dresses to work for me. I wore bikini bottoms under my shorts when playing volleyball but I typically go commando. I found regular panties way to constricting.
6. You can still have sex but for the first couple of weeks, you need to really take care to keep saliva and semen out of your piercings. Angles are important too. Just trust me on this.
7. You may have a little bleeding at first. It's entirely normal. Some girls wear pads for the first few days but I didn't find that necessary.
8. Expect some sharp shooting pains as your piercings get caught either to yourself, your clothes, or other jewelry.
9. As I mentioned earlier, take Ibuprofen when necessary. Drink plenty of water and eat well.
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[10 May 2009|08:45pm] |
I have a hard time celebrating Mother's Day with anything short of feigned interest and thanks. My mom bailed on watching my dogs Friday night so that she could go gambling with my aunts. Her excuse was that she needed to "watch her plants." Turns out, she was heading off to an Indian Reservation but hopes to come visit me for a "week or two" some time soon. I would never want my mom in my house for an extended visit and how dare she take it upon herself to expect that it's okay. Not to mention that she refuses to follow my rules and ones that I passionately live by.
Two of the biggest being:
1. No smoking in the house.
2. No people food to the dogs.
She'll degrade my lifestyle. She'll tell me everything I'm doing wrong. She'll question everything I do.
Sure, I could thank her for not aborting. It would be much more appropriate to say, "Thanks for accidentally procreating and letting me live" than "You've been a wonderfully supportive, patient, giving, kind mother."
In other news, my double's volleyball partner and I drove 2 hours to play in a Women's Co-Ed Reverse tournament on Saturday and whooped the living shit out everyone. The nets were set at women's height (not men's), the courts were on grass (not sand), and my partner and I have played consistently 4-5 times a week for a couple of months. Today, we spent 6 hours playing 2's...back in the sand on men's nets and I'm learning how to kill the ball given the disadvantage of being only 5'8". It's pretty fucking awesome.
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| i have balls. |
[01 May 2009|01:24pm] |
Since I returned from Puerto Rico, my work has picked up, I've moved 7 blocks from the beach, I play 15-20 hours a week of beach volleyball, and started some crazy-ass workouts involving 7 flights of stairs and lots of bodyweight exercises. I've drank my weight in vodka in one night alone and eaten healthier than I have in my life. I've been stressed, frustrated, and downright fed up. I've designed new tattoos and trashed my car. I've cleaned my car and gone crazy.
I'll try to start updating more.
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[16 Apr 2009|12:36pm] |
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It bothers me far more than it should when wives don't work. Dependent people bug the living shit out of me.
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[14 Apr 2009|10:30pm] |
So I know a guy who claims to have been a Black Seal. He claims that a Black Seal encompasses the Navy, Air Force, and Marines and is far more important and challenging than a typical Navy Seal. His mission was confidential and the program has since ended. He doesn't remember who the president he was serving under during this time and was 18 years old when he started. He was stationed in Alaska with training trips to New Mexico.
Google Black Seal. You'll come up with Cuba Gooding Jr. as Carl Brashear in the movie "Men of Honor."
This guy is full of crap and it makes me laugh.
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[30 Mar 2009|10:41pm] |
So our second day in Puerto Rico we find a puppy scrounging for food on the beach. Through some cosmic intervention, a woman understood my Spanish well enough to know I was looking for a nearby store to buy puppy food and I could understand her Spanish well enough to tell my husband where to go. We managed to take this puppy all over the island, including the ferry to Vieques and the small flight to Culebra.
Here she is on Black Sand Beach the day after we found her. We named her Segunda (Spanish for Second) because she's the second dog my husband and I have found while traveling.
( prepare to want to smoosh the cutest face ever )
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[25 Mar 2009|01:24pm] |
In lieu of fireworks, chinese villagers hurl molten iron at a wall.
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[25 Mar 2009|01:21pm] |
Charles Manson's Epic Response:
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[21 Mar 2009|12:18pm] |
Discussing Puerto Rico has been hard. I was depressed the first few days...weeks...after I got back. Disco had to return a day early and will be gone for another 6 months, home welcomed me with 29 degrees along with snow and ice on the ground, and somehow, even after disappearing for 2 weeks, none of my problems had been solved or dissolved. And that's just bullshit.
I've reluctantly settled back into a schedule that mixes mundane with must and as Peter Gibbons so eloquently put it, "So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life." Not all is death and despair though. Segunda, the puppy we rescued and brought back from Puerto Rico (which requires a post all of its own), has fit in quite nicely with the rest of the gang. It would seem that she's the perfect playmate for Pirate Ninja Cyborg Jesus 1.0. The stress and utter freaked-outedness I had about inadequately caring for 4 dogs was superfluous. It's actually been the easiest, and most pleasurable, part about being back.
I'll admit I'm a bit of skeptic and pessimist (wait. what? no way.) and up until the moment that the plane landed in San Juan, I still expected something to keep this trip from happening. As it turned out, fate could have been the only one involved in the planning of this trip. My choices meant nothing. Things fell into place and worked out so perfectly that I was beginning to think I HAD died on the flight there and this flawless vacation was heaven.
Disco was scheduled to arrive 7 hours after me but managed to jump an earlier flight and I saw him within 2 hours of landing. One would think that after 6 months, I would be able to hold myself together for the last 120 minutes but I was so impatient that I asked the Delta employees when and where to expect the passengers of his flight...in Spanish and English...two times in each language. I saw him before he saw me and I was already running. He was the only person I could see but his uniform helped him stand out. He saw me from 15 feet away and I think that's about the moment I jumped. We were a web of arms and legs and kisses and he was holding me completely off the ground. I heard some guy say, "That is so sweet" but everything else was tuned out shortly after. Apparently some people were clapping. I didn't hear anything but him saying, "Hi, baby."
From there, the days only went explosively adventurous and passionate. Maybe you can understand why returning home has been so dismal. There's lots more to share...stay tuned.
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[17 Mar 2009|08:51am] |
I'm back.
And I have stories.
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[07 Feb 2009|04:57pm] |
Olbermann: "It may be time for Mr. Cheney to leave this country"
"It is time for you to desist or to be made to desist," said Olbermann. "With damnable words you protect no American, you serve no American and you aid and abet those who would destroy this nation from within or without.
"... Depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!"
THE FULL RAW STORY (AND VIDEO) HERE
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[05 Feb 2009|10:20pm] |
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I like how some web sites try to prevent you from taking their images with the "right-click-save-as" option. I guess they haven't heard of the "print-screen-button-and-open-photoshop" maneuver.
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[05 Feb 2009|07:26am] |
It is currently 22 degrees outside and with the wind chill, it feels like 11.
This is ridiculous. I don't care how much colder your state is than mine because if you're stupid enough to stay there, then don't try to be like, "But I'm sooooooo much colder than you." There's no cold contest because nobody gives a fuck. It's all relative and cold is cold is cold.
With that being said, I feel that I waste 1/3 of my year just trying to make it through until I can be outside again. I don't run outside in the winter, my dogs have shorter walks, I just layer on clothes until I feel as awkwardly plump as I look, and most of the potted winter plants are exactly what your grandma has on her front porch still in the ugly green plastic container she bought it in at Walmart for $1.47. Your grandma not mine. Mine is dead.
If it's going to be this cold, it should snow and it should snow hard. I'm talking about up-to-the-window-snow so that I can jump off the top of my car and dive into it. It should snow so hard that they would HAVE to cancel work and school rather than preemptively canceling it the day before it snows just because it's forecasted.
I want to bust my ass on ice and karate chop icicles. And go sledding. And have frozen fingers and toes and make hot chocolate to warm up.
Right now, I'm just trying to bury myself in my clothes and make it through the day. I think this is further proof that there is no god. There I said it and if you try to argue, I'll throw your stupid bible right at the outdoor thermometer. "Oh wait, what's that? It's too cold out there?"
Exactly.
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[04 Feb 2009|09:39pm] |
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Oh, and I'm moving to Hawaii at the end of the year.
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[04 Feb 2009|09:35pm] |
I forgot about the Nylabone I gave Pirate Ninja Cyborg Jesus 1.0 earlier when putting her in her crate and now she's bunched all of her blankets up and is sliding that bone around on the plastic bottom. Between her nails and the bone, she's making too much noise and motion for me to relax. But I'm too cold to get out of bed and take it out. Plus, she's not whining so I shouldn't be complaining but...oh shit...a kong? When did she get a kong in there?
I've got to put an end to this.
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2partswater's journal